I’m losing weight but not my mind

I’m losing weight but not my mind

First of all, I want to thank each and every one of you who left comments on my blog, Facebook, and Twitter last week after I wrote this post. I wasn’t in a very good place and I was overwhelmed, lonely, and stressed. Your words of support and validation really made me feel less alone in this crazy world of raising children with special needs.

Thankfully, today I have some good news to share with all of you to balance things out a bit.

A little over 2 weeks ago I reached an impasse with myself.  I had hit an all time low punctuated by a vicious pattern of self loathing that I just couldn’t live with anymore.  I was self-medicating with food and alcohol and together those two vices had landed me a good forty pounds overweight.  Every day I would wake up promising myself I wouldn’t eat & drink my feelings and my loneliness away.  And every night I would go to bed a failure hating myself.

For those of you wondering I am 5’9″ and have a larger frame than most women.  
A healthy weight for me is 160 pounds.

That look I am making?  That would be called disgust.
Also, clean your damn mirror woman!

Then I read my friend Veronica’s blog and heard about a not-so radical eating plan she had researched and had found success in.  Its called the 17 Day Diet and when I first read the title I was not impressed.  I really thought it was just another “fad” diet that required you to eat six grapefruits and drink 120 oz. of cabbage water per day for six months.  Been there, done that, not doing it again.

I did some research on my own and found that the diet had been endorsed by quite a few professionals, including the doctors on the show by the same name.  But, I still wasn’t sold.  So, I bought the 17 day diet book from Amazon for my Kindle and figured I’d give it a couple hours of time and see what it said.

And that is when I knew it wasn’t just a bunch of smoke and mirrors.

The plan is pretty damn simple.  There are 3 stages and each stage is split up by 17 days.  The first stage is the most regimented and requires you to cut out  carbs, processed sugar, alcohol, soft drinks and many of the overly sweet fruits.  It is very rich in low proteins (such as chicken and turkey breast, pork tenderloin, and fish/ seafood) and lots of vegetables (but not those heavy in starch, such as potatoes, peas, lima beans, etc).  Its important that each day you eat at least one serving of  yogurt high in beneficial bacteria and two servings of low sugar fruit (such as berries, apples, or peaches).  To some this may sound extreme but to me it just sounded healthy.  It sounded like the way we are supposed to be eating, but in my case, seldom did.

In the first 7 days I lost 9.7 pounds!  And lest you think that was all water weight I know for a fact it wasn’t because I was drinking at least 8-10 glasses of water per day and I wasn’t living in the bathroom.

Today, is my last day in Phase 1 and I have lost 15 pounds.


This is including the dinner I had on Father’s Day at Bonefish Grill which was in no way whatsoever friendly to any of the rules of the 17 day diet.  I totally blew that day out of the water but the very next day I was back on track.

I already feel more confident and positive.  Last week I took more pictures of myself then I think I have taken in the past two years combined.

Here are a couple:

I really like these pictures.  In each of them I look hopeful.  I look patient.

I think that is because I am.  Because I know I’m worth it.

I still have at least 30 pounds to go and 2 more phases to complete but I am confident that the positive vibes I have been getting from stepping on the scale and watching the numbers fall and the clothing I couldn’t wear one month ago that is now starting to sag with keep me on track towards reaching my goal.

And what is my goal you may ask?

I can tell quite matter of factly that it is not a specific number on the scale.  It is a dream I have held for a very long time.  Its a state of mind and a presence of person that will tell me when I have finally made it where I want to be.

And this is it:

I want to be able to walk into my favorite store and buy an article of clothing and have it FIT!  I adore Anthropologie and their clothing is whimsical, romantic, and entirely too damn small for a gal my size.

But I aim to fix that and I have never been one to back down on something I am passionate committed to finishing.

So, I’ll keep you all posted on how I am doing and hopefully by Christmas this Mama will be rockin a sweet little cocktail dress from her favorite store.